


Ignoring the Signs

by squib_pride (ettaberry_tea)



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-12-09 03:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20988101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ettaberry_tea/pseuds/squib_pride
Summary: Miles and Keiko divorce and Molly is caught in a custody battle. Miles rely's on Julian's help to get through it all. Meanwile, Quark is always up to something.





	1. Never let go

“It’s for the best,” Miles Obrien said, glumly, staring into the bottom of his glass.  
Quark reached behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of something stronger than the synth-ale the chief usually drank. He slid a glass of it towards Miles. “Ferengis don’t have divorce,” he said. “Our marriage contracts are for a set amount of time. None of this ‘till death do us part’ nonsense. It’s more of a rental agreement.”  
“A rental agreement?” Miles took a swig of what turned out to be whiskey.  
“Yeah, we pay a dowry to the female’s father, have a few kids, and then when the time’s up, there’s no fuss, no crying, no lawyers. You humans do like to make things much more complicated than need be.”  
Miles groaned and rubbed his temples. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot. “I just can’t believe she’s gone.”

Miles wandered back to what was his family’s quarters. Molly and Kaiko hadn’t been there in months, but now it felt emptier than ever. A box of the last of Kaiko’s possessions sat on the dining table next to a tablet containing divorce documents. He had received them early that morning. He still couldn’t bring himself to make it final.

Suddenly he had the urge to get out, to go anywhere but the empty shell of his home. He turned on his heels and strode out the door and down the hall at a brisk pace. He had nowhere to go, but that didn’t stop him going.

»———— ∞ ————« 

Dr. Julian Bashir finished passing the dermal regenerator over Morn’s tongue. “There you go, just believe Rom next time he says, ‘be careful, it’s hot.’”  
Morn looked sadly at his doctor.  
“Really, I know how much you like deep fried tube grub, but you’ve got to practice some restraint and wait for it to cool down. You’ll lose taste buds if you keep burning yourself.”  
Morn hoped off the bio-bed and lumbered out of the infirmary.

Julian yawned and stretched. It was twenty minutes past when his shift was supposed to have ended. Someone always came in at the last minute without fail. He was exhausted after twelve hours on his feet, which was why he ambled out into the hall with his eyes half closed, thinking about how many steps until he could collapse into his bed.

He did not see the preoccupied chief of engineering powering down the hallway until it was too late.

»———— ∞ ————«

Miles collided with Julian, tripping over the smaller man and tumbling forwards. Julian stumbled sideways, cracking his head against the bulkhead. He yelled in surprise and pain and sat down on the ground.  
“Julian!” Miles cried, realizing he had just hurt his friend. He picked himself up off the ground and helped his friend up.  
Julian fought back the angry words that wanted to jump out of him, his head throbbing. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” he said, irritation coming out in his voice.

“Nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. There’s nowhere to go.” Miles muttered, looking at his hands.

Julian sighed. He was tired, but Miles obviously needed a friend right now. “Come with me back to my quarters. I’ll probably pass out, but you can stay as long as you like.”

Miles mumbled some excuse, but Julian grabbed him by the arm and dragged him with him. “You absolutely cannot roam about the halls all night plowing into unsuspecting people. As the station’s chief medical officer, I simply can’t allow it.”

Julian’s quarters were smaller and cozier than Miles’. Kaiko had always insisted on a more minimalist look that Miles hadn’t realized bothered him until he officially didn’t share a home with her anymore. Julian’s quarters were decorated with paintings, tapestries and holo-photos of his friends. He even had a shelf with a few old-fashioned paper books, including Grey’s Anatomy “an ancient medical text from earth’s nineteenth century,” Julian had said. Also on the shelf was a tube-like instrument that Julian had called a steth- o- scope. Miles examined the steth - o- scope, trying to think of what it could be used for. It didn’t even have any wires or sensors.

Julian was taking a sonic shower and getting ready for bed. Miles felt like he was intruding even though Julian insisted that he could stay. He didn’t want to go back to his quarters, and Quark’s was closed. He wasn’t ready to face the unsigned divorce documents that he hadn’t even read.

Julian walked out of his bathroom wearing pajamas. He ordered two mugs of chamomile tea, 83 degrees Celsius from the replicator. “Here, try some of this. It will make you calm and sleepy.”  
Miles took a sip of the plant-flavored water and sat on Julian’s couch. Julian sat across from him in silence, observing him.  
“How did it all go so wrong?” said Miles.  
He sighed and leaned back into the couch, propping his feet up on the ottoman between them.  
Julian, for once, didn’t have anything to say. He looked at his friend sadly.  
“I shouldn’t have encouraged her move off of the station with Molly. I should have moved to Bajor with them. I shouldn’t have brought us all to deep space 9 in the first place.”

Julian looked into his tea thoughtfully. “Are you still in love with her?”

Miles paused and shook his head. “No, but I wish I was. It doesn’t seem right. We have a daughter together. I don’t see why she can’t wait until Molly’s a teenager at least. She’s too young to understand this.”  
“You’re worried about how your divorce will affect Molly,” said Julian.  
“Yes,” said Miles, “I won’t be able to take care of her on the station by myself. There’s no school. There’s nothing for her to do.” His eyes welled up with tears. “I’m never going to see her. I miss her so much.”  
“This station is certainly not an easy place to be a single parent,” said Julian.  
“If I get to be a parent at all,” said Miles. “Maybe I should move to Bajor. I’ll get a job I’m overqualified to do that doesn’t pay well. At least I’ll be closer to my daughter.”  
“Isn’t Kaiko traveling all over and doing botanical surveys? Surely she can’t be providing a more stable childhood than you could provide.”  
“She homeschools Molly. I don’t know. I just feel like suddenly the rug has been yanked from beneath me. Suddenly I’m back to where I started. I never see Molly and Kaiko these days. It’s as if I never had a wife and daughter at all.”  
“The divorce took you by surprise.”  
“I guess I just ignored all of the signs until it was far too late.” Miles took a swig of his tea. “I always fancied myself a family man. I never pictured myself being a divorcee.”

Miles went back to his quarters when Julian passed out from exhaustion. The poor bloke really was a good friend, staying up to listen to him and all. He picked up the tablet with the divorce documents and skimmed through them, figuring he’d just get signing them over with. He swiped through the pages and then a section heading caught his eye. Child custody.  
“Oh my god,” he said out loud, his stomach dropping. “Kaiko wants full custody of Molly.”

»———— ∞ ————«

There was no way Chief Obrien could sleep after that. He arrived to his shift exhausted and still panicking. After he effed up a repair on the bridge and caused a minor explosion, Commander Sisko wanted to see him in his office. 

“I expect all of my officers to report to duty well rested and ready to perform their tasks competently,” Commander Sisko said sternly.

“I’m sorry Commander,” said Obrien. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night.”

Sisko sighed and sat down, gesturing for Obrien to do the same. “Miles, is something wrong?”

Chief Obrien leapt to his feet because he could not possibly sit still. “She’s going to take Molly away from me. I’m going to lose my daughter. She want’s full custody and there’s no way I can beat her in court. This station is no place for a little girl. There’s not even a school.”

“Oh!” said Sisko, taken aback, “I didn’t know that you and Kaiko were officially ending things.”

The chief paced back and forth. Sisko had never seen him so worked up. He was usually professionally calm, even under the threat of certain death.

“I’m going to help you Miles,” Sisko said resolutely. “You won’t lose your daughter, not if I can help it.”

Miles stopped pacing. “Thank you, Commander. I’d appreciate your help. I don’t even know where to start. Sorry for being such a mess.”

“If anyone were trying to take Jake from me, I’d be causing explosions too,” said Sisko. “Can you bring me your custody documents so that I can read over them? Also, you’re off duty for the rest of the day, I can’t have any more mis-haps.”

»———— ∞ ————«

Sisko and Obrien contacted Kaiko’s Bajoran solicitor later that day. The solicitor arranged for Kaiko and Obrien to discuss custody of Molly in the conference room on the station. Sisko felt hopeful about the new development. Obrien remained anxious.

He needed to burn off some of his adrenaline. Luckily Dr Bashir was available for a game of racquetball on his lunch break.

“I feel like I’m playing a younger man,” said Julian, wiping sweat out of his eyes.  
Miles realized that this was the first time he’d seen the guy sweat while playing racquetball. It was his serve and he slammed the ball hard into the wall with such force that Julian’s lightning reflexes were almost too slow to hit it back. Almost. Miles played like he was fighting for his life, smashing the ball with his racquet over and over, harder and harder. He was breathing faster and faster. Finally, he hit the ball so hard that Julian missed, and it went flying out of bounds. 

Miles was hyperventilating. He tried to stop, but that just made him hiccup and sob. He unintentionally twisted his racquet in half. His arms shook and his face got the pins-and-needles feeling as his hyperventilating made him dizzy.

“Hey, hey, easy there,” said Julian, realizing his friend was freaking out. “It’s going to be all right. You’ve got Sisko on your side now. It’s going to work out.”

He rested a hand on Miles’ shoulder. Miles sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m scared Julian. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I lose Molly?”

Julian wrapped his arms around his sweaty friend and patted him on the back. He tried to think of something better to say. “I know you, it’s not like you’d ever give up without a fight. Sisko won’t either. We’ll all do whatever it takes to keep you and Molly together. You’re not alone here.”

Miles dropped his broken racquet and held on to Julian like he was about to get swept out to sea.


	2. No Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More divorce drama. Also Quark has injured himself in a bizarre manner. I don't know where I'm going with this.

Chapter 2

Julian Bashir’s alarm went off at 5 hundred hours. He groaned and reached for the hypo-spray next to his bed. Coffee didn’t work anymore. He had become accustom to dosing himself with a medical grade stimulant to manage his never-ending fatigue – not exactly star fleet protocol. His shift today was supposed to be only nine hours, but there was a good chance that he would be working overtime. 

By sheer force of will, he dragged himself out of bed and pulled on his uniform. He ran a dermal tension elevator under his eyes to get rid of the saggy skin that would give away how exhausted he felt, and he splashed his face with water. “All right Julian,” he said to himself in the mirror almost sarcastically, “duty calls.”

Kaiko’s solicitor was a bored looking bajoran who spoke with a nasally, monotone voice. “My client, a permanent resident of Bajor, has instructed me to pursue nothing less than full custody of the child, Molly Obrien. She is willing to make a verbal agreement to allow Mr. Obrien to have Molly on all major bajoran holidays and,” he squinted at his papers, “ Chris-t-mas. This would be in good faith.”  
Miles snorted, “Good faith!”

“You haven’t left much room for negotiation Ms. Obrien,” said Commander Sisko.  
“Yeah,” said Miles, “Do you really expect me to give up my own daughter, just like that?”  
“Really Miles, I just want to make formal the arrangement we already have. Molly lives with me on Bajor, and she’ll visit you occasionally on the station. I just want what we’re already doing to be official.”

“Well I don’t!” exclaimed Miles. “I miss her Kaiko. I miss my little girl.”  
“Why did you agree to Ms. Obrien leaving with Molly to live on Bajor then?” asked the solicitor.  
“I didn’t!” said Miles, “I thought they’d be coming and going all the time! I didn’t know that she planned to move there permanently and take my kid!”

“Well, you’ve left it too late to do anything,” the solicitor said in an annoyingly calm voice. “Bajoran law prioritizes maintaining a stable living situation for the child. Molly has been living solely with Ms. Obrien for over a year. If Mr. Obrien had wanted to change that, he should have begun that legal process a year ago. Any Bajoran judge would look at this situation and rule to not disturb Molly’s life just because her absentee father misses her.”

“Absentee!” shouted Miles. “Really Kaiko?”

“Just let it go Miles,” said Kaiko. “You’re being unreasonable. You can’t even take care of Molly. I took care of her on Deep Space 9. There isn’t even a school here.”

“Now that can change,” said Sisko.  
Kaiko ignored him. “What is she going to do here? Wander feral about the station like Jake and Nog?”

“Hey!” exclaimed Sisko.

“I suppose she should instead be shunted about on your botanical expeditions, never to settle down and make a few friends. You’re not exactly offering her an ideal childhood either.”

“At least it’s a safe childhood! At least she wouldn’t be in constant danger from an attack from the dominion!” Kaiko turned to her solicitor. “This is pointless, let’s just go to court.”

“Quark, if you told me how you got this injury, I’d be better able to help you,” said Dr Bashir.

“I told you, they were like this when I woke up,” insisted Quark.

Quark’s finger joints on his left hand had somehow been reversed so that they all bent the wrong way.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Said Bashir.

“I’m telling you the truth; I swear on all 285 Rules of Acquisition.”

“In that case, we should tell captain Sisko. You may have experienced some sort of strange temporal anomaly.”

“No, no!” Said Quark, “It’s nothing. I don’t even need my left hand. Forget I came here.”

Bashir sighed in exasperation. “Quark! Just tell me! If you did something illegal, as long as no one’s in danger, I won’t tell anyone. I have to maintain patient confidentiality, and that includes the confidentiality of nefarious ferengi barkeeps.”

Quark shrugged defeatedly. “Okay, fine.” He started going about the room, examining Dr. Bashir’s instruments and looking under the bio-beds.

“What now?” asked Dr. Bashir.

“Odo. I know he’s here spying on me. He doesn’t give a crap about patient confidentiality, or privacy at all.”

Dr. Bashir reached for his hypo-spray and discreetly gave himself another dose of stimulant. He was only halfway through his shift and already he was exhausted. His ferengi patient wasn’t helping matters.

The doors of the infirmary swooshed open and the chief of engineering walked in. His eyes looked distant and his face was expressionless.

Dr. Bashir immediately pulled out his medical tricorder and scanned Obrien. “Miles?” He asked, “What happened?”

“I went to cargo bay two,” Miles said. He was chuckling, but his eyes didn’t smile. “I almost opened the airlock while I was inside, but I decided to come here instead.”

“I have an entire shipment of Tulaberry wine in there!” said Quark.

“Quark!” snapped Julian.

“If you send it out the airlock, I’m suing your estate!”

“Not now Quark!”

Julian’s tricorder indicated that his friend’s serotonin levels were dangerously low, and his cortisol was elevated. “I’m thankful that you came here. I don’t know what I would have done if you had opened the airlock.”

“You’d manage just fine,” said Miles. He was weary and had no room to even deal with how others might feel if he had killed himself. He just wanted his nightmare to end, and if he couldn’t be with Molly, was there any point to stick around?

Julian wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He had had suicidal patients before, but it was hard not to panic hearing the things coming out of Miles’ mouth, especially since Julian cared deeply about Miles. That was one of the troubles with frontier medicine. The patient on the bio-bed needing emergency interventions could be your best friend, and there was often no other doctor to take over.

Julian glanced at Quark, who was ogling at the pair of them. “How about we go to my office for some privacy.”

Miles nodded and awkwardly followed Julian toward the office. Julian kept glancing at him, afraid that Miles was going to suddenly dart out the door and finish what he had contemplated.

“Hey, what about my hand?” complained Quark. “I was here first!”

“You’re not in any immediate danger. The infirmary isn’t first come first serve; it’s based on triage. You can wait.”

“There’s not even anything wrong with him! My hand’s on backwards! Just tell him not to kill himself! Problem solved!”  
Obrien stopped walking. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he said quietly.

Dr Bashir took his arm. “Ignore him. Right now, our top priority is keeping you safe.”

Dr Bashir declared Chief Obrien unfit for duty and kept him in the infirmary for 24 hours with a security officer stationed within sight at all times. He offered to let Obrien stay at home, but the chief was worried that being in his empty family quarters would make him even more miserable. Bashir contacted counselor Troy, and Obrien talked with her a few times. 

“It wouldn’t do Molly any good to lose her dad, and throwing myself out the airlock wouldn’t help,” said Miles.

Julian was assessing his mental state again. “If I let you return to your quarters without supervision for the time being, are you going to be any immediate danger to yourself?”

“I don’t think so. It was scary how fast my brain went to suicide. I have too much to live for though. If I start thinking about killing myself again, I know where to go to get help.”

“That’s a good thing to hear,” said Julian.

Dr. Bashir flicked through the notes on his tablet. “I am comfortable allowing you to leave the infirmary. I will also declare you fit for duty, but you’ve got to promise me that you’ll tell me if you start thinking those dark thoughts again. It’s important, not just for your safety, but, giving the nature of your job, for the safety of everyone.”

Kaiko Obrien sat with her Bajoran solicitor across from Miles Obrien and Benjamin Sisko, who was acting as Obrien’s legal advocate. Opa Polan, a Bajoran Arbiter, sat at the head of the table. 

“This is the hearing of the case 17942, Kaiko Obrien vs. Miles Obrien. Family court is now in session,” said Arbiter Opa.

The family court was located in the same building as an orphanage. The sound of children playing came through the glassless windows. The dusty breeze did not make up for the lack of air conditioning.

Kaiko’s Solicitor got to make her case first. “Kaiko Obrien and Molly Obrien are permanent residents of Bajor, which makes custody of Molly fall under Bajoran jurisdiction, not Starfleet Jurisdiction. Ms. Obrien and Molly last left Deep space 9 in the year of our profits 2371, at the 6th day of the period of reflective solitude, and have remained on Bajor for 346 consecutive days, gaining permanent resident status in the year of our profits 2372, at the 29th day of the period of celestial harmony. Mr. Obrien elected to remain on Deep Space 9 for all 346 consecutive days instead of joining is daughter and wife on Bajor.”

Kaiko’s Solicitor passed a tablet to Arbiter Opa. “We would like to reference the precedence set by the case Lai Punice vs. Ra Larena. Lai Punice moved away from home to work as a laborer and did not return to see his children for over a year. When he did, it was to divorce Ra Larena. Lai Punice asked for joint custody of the children, and you, the Arbiter of this very case, denied him custody. The reasons for your decision that you stated was wat Lai Punice had been absent in his children’s lives for over a year, and that granting him custody would be disrupting and disabling the children’s lives.  
You also made the point that Lai Punice should have made more of an effort to be a part of his children’s lives, and, as he was an absentee father who only sought to have contact with them when he divorced his wife, his motivation did not seem to be in the best interest of his children.  
We would like to make the case that granting Mr. Obrien joint custody would be disrupting and disabling Molly’s life unnecessarily, and that he should have made more of an effort in remaining in Molly’s life if he wanted to earn the privilege to be in Molly’s life. He should have either moved to Bajor or filed for a custody hearing as soon as Ms. Obrien and Molly relocated.”

Mile’s face was red with anger. It was all he could do to keep shouting at the droning solicitor. Sisko rested a hand on Mile’s arm, trying to keep him from jumping up. “Arbiter Opa, we request a recess before we respond to solicitor Kan’s accusations.”

Arbiter Opa glanced at Mile’s beet-red face and sighed. “Very well. You have five minutes.”

Sisko led Obrien out into the hall to calm down. “Listen to me Miles,” said Sisko. “We have a chance here to set things right, but if you start shouting as I can tell that you want to, it’s not going to help our case.”

“I can’t believe him, saying all those things, calling me an absentee father, and Kaiko just sitting there, agreeing. She knows that’s not the story. She knows what she did, taking Molly away, and then tricking me into thinking that it was only temporary.”

“We’re going to tell your side of the story and prove that it’s nothing like the case solicitor Kan cited. We haven’t lost here, we’re just getting started, all right?”

Mile’s heart was racing. He focused on breathing through his nose. “I’m not giving up on Molly. She needs her dad in her life, no matter what Kaiko’s solicitor says.”

“Let’s go make our case. Are you ready?”

Miles nodded, lifted his head, and walked back into the court room, determined to give Kaiko one hell of a fight.

Quark did not show up for his scheduled surgery to fix his mangled finger joints. After checking the bar, Dr. Bashir checked the next most likely place to find Quark: Odo’s office. 

“I swear, it’s nothing. This is a common affliction that ferengi’s have when we get on in age,” Quark was saying as Julian entered the security office.

“Ahh, Dr. Bashir,” said Odo. “Do tell. Are Quark’s backwards joints the product of old age, or was it caused by the chemical leakage from a cosmetic ostio-transubstantiator, usually used for creating brow ridges in illegal face-altering surgery,” Odo leaned towards Quark and enunciated: “as I suspect?”

“Um, well…”  
Julian frowned, trying to figure out how to best respond. Quark shot him a pleading look.  
“I can’t comment on the nature of Quark’s injuries, as that is a matter between patient and doctor,” he said.

Odo rolled his eyes and humphed.

“If you don’t mind,” said Julian, “Quark is scheduled for surgery right now. Perhaps this discussion could continue at a later time?”

Odo sighed. “Very well. You’ve been warned Quark. If I catch you smuggling any restricted medical equipment at all, I’m going to make life very difficult for you.”

Quark walked with Julian back to the infirmary.

“Thanks Doctor,” he said. “I didn’t realize that you actually meant what you said about patient confidentiality.”

“You know,” said Julian, “Now that I know what caused your injury, I can fix your hand without operating at all.”

Julian went to retrieve the proper equipment for fixing Quark’s hand. He stifled a yawn, reached for a hypo spray, and gave himself a double dose of stimulant.


End file.
